Going In Squares
by Nari Song
Summary: Another planet, another time, another enemy, and a whole lot of running!....If only the Doctor and Rose knew where they were going...


_Ciao,_

_Another piece of frivolous and eccentric writing. I'm getting rather good at these don't you think?_

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**Going In Squares**

The ground was hard beneath their feet as they ran through the thick shrub and low hanging trees.

"How much further" Rose asked, gasping for breath, her heart racing from both the adrenaline and the exertion of running.

"About another 900 metres I should think", the doctor replied brushing branches out of their way as they ran.

Rose groaned

"Well, according to that bush anyway", he said pointing at a vibrant purple bush a few metres ahead of them.

"Bush?" Rose asked looking to where he was pointing. When she saw the particular bush he was referring to, Rose dug her heels into the ground, dragging sharply on the Doctors arm as she flew to a stop.

"We passed a bush like that just a few minutes ago though" Rose said looking at the Doctor who was rubbing his now strangely angled shoulder and wincing.

"Doctor?" Rose tried again.

A pop sounded as the Doctor jerked his shoulder back into the right position and Rose winced. "Oh, right, sorry about that."

"No problemo. Just a bit more warning next time would be appreciated." The Doctor said, grinning at Rose who smiled back. "Now, what were saying?"

"I said we've passed this bush already"

"We have?" the Doctor said scratching his head "Are you sure? There are lots of bushes around, you could be thinking of another one".

Rose looked at him with raised eyebrows and then looked at the near glowing purple bush surrounded by otherwise other ordinary coloured green bushes. She turned back to the Doctor, placing her hands on her hips.

"Yes Doctor, I'm pretty sure this is the same bush. Unless of course some other bush has decided it didn't like getting shown up by another and decided to dye itself purple too."

"True", the Doctor relented, looking more closely at the bush. "Although-"

Loud war cries cut of his next words and they both whipped around looking down the path they had just come.

"Come on, time to go!" the Doctor said, grabbing Roses hand and pulled her in front of him into a run again.

They both continued running through the forest, battling their way through the greenery, the Doctor at the back and Rose at the front, both of them collecting the occasional scratch or two. They had gone only 400 metres or so when the Doctor, who had just glanced behind to see if their pursuers were still, well, pursuing them, ran straight first into a tree and they both fell to the ground in a jumbled array of limbs.

The Doctor groaned rubbing his head where he had banged it against the ground. "Warning, I think I recall saying last time" he said to the tree who had turned out to be Rose.

"I know, I know, I know" she said as they both got off the ground brushing the leaves of their clothes.

"Then why-"

Look" Rose said, pointing.

Four metres in front of them stood a purple bush, identical to the one they had just passed.

The Doctors shoulders sank in his coat. "Oh that's just not fair"

"We must be going in circles" Rose evaluated looking around at the forest wondering how they had ended up in this predicament.

"How about squares?" The Doctor asked innocently, wide eyed, questioning.

Rose frowned and whacked his recently dislocated shoulder and he winced.

"Yeah, right, sorry", he said once again rubbing his shoulder.

Rose rolled her eyes but laughed at the hurt expression on the Time Lords face.

"Sorry"

"Apology accepted"

"So...." Rose started.

"What are we going to do? The Doctor asked her with an inquisitive expression.

Rose looked surprised. "What, you're asking me?

"Sure am ", the Doctor said wagging his finger at her. "I want to see if I've taught you anything this past year about getting out of sticky situations, figuratively of course. This situation isn't exactly sticky, well, unless you count the trees as being _sticky_.

Rose thought. "Have you got a map?" she asked looking up at him.

The Doctor stared at her, one eyebrow raised.

"A map?" he asked incredulously.

"Yeah".

They both stared at each other, until Rose snorted with laughter.

"Yeah ,stupid idea" she said laughing.

The Doctor joined in with her laughter."Just a bit. Imagine that! Me, with a map!"

Rose laughed and then went quiet with thought.

"We could..." she began

"Yes" the doctor said expectantly

"Surrender!" she continued, clicking her fingers with the revelation.

"Surrender? But-"

He never got any further as another loud war cry echoed through the forest towards them.

The Doctor turned back to Rose.

"Due to the limited amount of solutions for this problem, I've decided we shall go with the best idea. Using my superior intellect and insight I have decided that yours is the best at the moment' the Doctor said hurriedly. "So how are we surrendering exactly?"

"Well, I thought we could use this" she said, withdrawing a white handkerchief that he had given her for their last adventure.

The Doctor took the offered piece of material, looked at it and then back at Rose.

"What are we going to do? Help them blow their nose? "

Rose sighed. "No Doctor, you know the drill. Fly a white flag at the enemy so they know your surrendering?"

"White? Where on Earth, or Keewakan where we are now, did you get white from?" he asked handing back the handkerchief to Rose who looked confused.

"You see it in all the war movies; they always fly a white flag, or something white?" she said looking down at the material in her hand. "Don't you?"

The Doctor shook his head sadly. "Ah, the confusion of your little planet is great indeed." he said, ignoring Rose as she rolled her eyes. "Do you remember when we followed that Chula Ambulance, or as Jack like to call it "Warship" to London?

Rose nodded her head. "Yeah" she said wondering where this was going.

"Do you remember when I said it was mauve and you said what happened to red, and I replied that was only for Earth?"

"Oh..." Rose said as realisation struck her "So, if it's not white for the rest of the universe, what is it?"

"Yellow" the Doctor said promptly, grinning at her. "Great colour I think."

Rose looked at her self. "But I don't have anything yellow, neither do you, so what are we-"she cut herself off and a smile broke out on her face.

"What?" the Doctor asked looking at her.

"I just remembered I do have something yellow!" Rose said, as both her hands went behind her back and up the back of her shirt.

The Doctor looked on confused, worried and only a slightly bit scared, as Rose started to twist each and every way,

"Funny time for a dance isn't it?" he asked.

"I have a yellow bra on! We can use that!"

The doctor looked horrified. "Rose, don't you think that when we surrender, if we have time before they kill us that is, we should at least _look _like we respect and honour the tribe, not look like we are laughing in their face?" he asked. "That's going to be extremely hard if we're waving your underwear around, don't you think?"

"Well, have you got any better ideas?" she asked still struggling with the clasp. Why was it taking so long? "We can't use your socks which used, may I repeat, _used _to be yellow before you walked through that dye on that planet a few days ago.

The Doctor looked surprised. "They were yellow?" He pulls up one of his trouser legs and looks at his very brown sock. "Are you sure?" he asks looking back at his sock.

"Very sure!" Rose said. "So, all intelligent one, what exactly did you have in mind?"

The Doctor let go of his trouser leg and plunges his hand into his coat pocket and rummages around. "I thought we could use this" he says and pulls out a very distinctive coloured object.

Rose stopped her struggling and looked at the object in his hand and then back to him. "We can't use that!"

"Why not" the Doctor said looking offended "I thought it was a great idea!"

"You were just saying we have to look like we respect the tribe when they see us surrendering, not like we are mocking them" Rose said. "What sort of an impression do you think we're going to give if you're waving that around?" she said nodding at the object.

"Trust me Rose, it will work"

Rose sighed and shook her head.

"It's on your head if you get us both killed."

"Don't worry Rose this plan is foolproof" as he started to wave the object above his head "it's going to go off with a-"

A shot fired through the forest whistling above their heads. They both dropped to the ground behind a rock as the Doctor stared in horror at the remains of what he was carrying. "-bang."

Rose was breathing fast. "Maybe that should have been _without _a bang."

All the Doctor could do was stare at his hand and stutter in reply.

Rose dragged him to his feet. "Come on" she said "We've got to get out of here."

They ducked behind a tree and continued running as they disappeared into the forest once more.

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"Missed by just a few centimetres your majesty, you were very close" said Kungu, the Keewaka king's war chief. "Just down a bit and you would have been right through the male."

The Keewaka King of the great Keewakan Island reloaded his primitive gun and turned to the chief.

"What do you mean I missed Kungu?" He asked frowning. "A King never misses!" he said, watching the supposedly two humans run away.

"I shot right where I was meaning to. Curse them! I've detested bananas since the day I was born!"

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__Ciao,_

_Nari song_


End file.
